The League of Extraordinarily Hot Bishonen
by Electric Fire
Summary: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Parody. A group of bishonen are brought together for mysterious reasons. Some of them may regret being hired when they find out what they have to do...
1. Prologue

The League of Extraordinary Hot Bishonen

By Electric Fire with help from BlackCharmgirl

Prologue

LXHB HQ, Somewhere in America....

Ten men were gathered in a fancy room. Upon the walls of the room, were pictures of each of them.

Christmas lights decorated the walls, the fireplace was blazing, and music was being played by an invisible pianist.

Some men were laughing, others were as quiet as the grave. There was one thing that was sure, not one of them were there for the same reason....

Fowl Manor, Ireland

Artemis Fowl the Second sat at his desk. Why he had even agreed to meet with this shifty person was beyond him. Perhaps it was because the cloaked figure had promised a large amount of money in return for his services.

His faithful bodyguard, Butler, stood behind his chair, his grip tight on the gun at his waist. The small figure hid their face. One major rule that bodyguards learn early in training is based on common sense - people who hid their face were almost always dangerous, why else would they have something to hide.

"What do you say, Master Fowl? Will you help us?"

Artemis considered the terms. It seemed an easy job, and he was being paid a strangely large sum of money. Any other fool would have taken the job, but Artemis was no fool.

"What is the catch?"

"Oh there's no catch, Sir. Its a simple job, but as I have explained, there are certain...risks."

"You seem awfully eager to have me take this job."

"Observant, eh?" The figure pulled the floppy black hat off of their head, letting blonde tresses fall down over her shoulders, "This is my last chance not to fail, Master Fowl, else my boss will decorate me with a pink slip of paper. That is why I hope you will not disappoint me."

Artemis looked the young girl up and down. She seemed sincere enough...

"Will my bodyguard be allowed to come with me?"

Domino City High, Japan

"I win...again." The soft voice of Ryo Bakura said, Atemu Motoh shook his head,

"You'll never win against Ryo, Jou." Jounouchi did not seem so convince.

"I will win! 'Dat guy can't beat me every time - e's just lucky!"

The three boys were arguing, and they were so loud, that they barely heard the motorcycle pull up. A whistle caught their attention, however.

"Hey guys! Over here!" Malik pulled the helmet off of his head, but the girl behind him, and the girl in the sidecar did not. The three boys hurried over to see their friend.

"Hey Malik! Who are your friends?" Atemu asked, and the girls pulled off their helmets. Both were startlingly attractive.

"We're more of business associates..." The first one said,

"And today is your lucky day!" The second one finished with a grin, and hopped out of the sidecar, "Perhaps if you boys would follow me, you may learn something to your advantage."

She pointed up to a helicopter above them, which let down a rope ladder. The other girl and Malik climbed up behind her. The three boys shrugged, What did they have to lose?

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Somewhere in Europe

Fred and George Weasly could hardly contain their excitement as they hid behind a statue. They knew that a Mr. Draco Malfoy would be heading this way soon, and how it would feel so good to embarrass him!

A hidden dungbomb was magicked to the ceiling, and the very second that Malfoy passed under....it was beautiful!

Soon they heard him coming up the hall, Fred was ready to set off the dungbomb, but a voice stopped him.

Turning around, they saw two girls wearing muggle clothes standing in the hallway.

"Draco Malfoy," One said, "If you take one step closer, a dungbomb will go off, and it will not be pretty."

"Fred and George Weasly, please come out from your hiding spots, we wish to speak with all three of you," said the second girl.

The twins groaned, how dare those girls ruin their perfect plan? Sullenly they removed themselves from their hiding spots.

"What's the idea?" Fred said, angrily, "Why'd you ruin our prank?"

"Don't worry, Mr. Weasly; if you and your brother come with us, you'll be able to put your special abilities to a good use," One girl said, grinning, "Mr. Malfoy, if you come with us, we can promise to give you what you want."

_Potter, _mouthed the other girl, but Fred and George did not take notice. They were to busy wallowing in their pride as great pranksters.

"Will we get paid?" George asked, slicking back his red hair.

"Of course. A lot of money, now if you three will just step this way...."

LXHB HQ, Somewhere in America

At one end of the large meeting room, there was a large mirror. Of course, it was not really a mirror, but mirrored glass. The three people on the other side of the glass were able to see the men quite clearly.

A man sat in an armchair with his back to the two girls, "You understand what you must do, girls?"

The girls nodded simultaneously, "Yes, sir!"

"You are excused, go do as I asked."

The girls got up to leave, "Oh, Rita. Lynn."

"Yes, sir?"

"Don't fail me this time, or I will be...very angry. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir!"


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

****

LXHB HQ, Somewhere in America...

The sliding glass doors opened, and all attention was directed to them. These men had been there for hours, and needless to say, they were not happy.

Two figures entered the room, and they were recognized as the recruitment girls. The first girl was a red-blonde, and she wore a red leather jacket and jeans, the second girl was a dirty blonde, and she wore a cute t-shirt and jeans. The t-shirt had a picture of Ryo Bakura, one of the men in the room, and he looked thoroughly puzzled as to why someone would be wearing a t-shirt with his picture on it.

"Hello," the first girl said, "I am Captain Rita and my associate is Captain Lynn. I suppose you wonder why you are all here?"

There was a murmured yes, and the girls smiled, "Please sit down then, and we will explain everything."

As they sat down at the table, Artemis could not help but realize that something was wrong with the girls' eyes. He was not quite sure what it was, but their eyes were almost lifeless, there were no emotions in those eyes.

"First of all, we would like to welcome each of you, and introduce you to the others, if you have not done so yourself," Lynn said, and motioned to the first three boys.

"Ryo Bakura and Atemu Motoh from Domino City. Malik Ishtar from Egypt. Each one posses a millennium item."

Each of the boys stood up and acknowledged themselves. Jou grinned and stood up, "I suppose you didn't want to introduce them with me, because you were afraid 'dat I'd outshine them all!"

"Ah..um..Not exactly, Mr. Katsuya. Actually, we weren't exactly sure what you did..." Rita whispered in Lynn's ear, and Lynn nodded, "I suppose, you are our streetwise expert."

Jou grinned, "Streetwise...I like that!"

Malik whispered to Bakura, "That's because he doesn't know what it means."

"Hey! I do so know what it means! ....I think."

"Anyways," Lynn continued, "This is Jounouchi Katsuya, from Domino City, our streetwise expert."

After Jou had delivered a speech, and was forced to shut up, Rita motioned to the next three boys, "Misters Fred and George Weasly, and Draco Malfoy. They all are wizards. Fred and George are the best in their field when it comes to setting traps for the enemies. Draco Malfoy, is quite knowledgeable in the dark arts, and that will give us an advantage against our enemies."

Each one stood up (actually, Fred and George high-fived each other, and were about to brake out the butterbeer, when Lynn pointedly mentioned that drinks would be served after the meeting).

Lynn introduced the next two men, er man and a woman, Beast Boy and Raven, "Two members of the famed Teen Titans, each one specializes in their own areas. Beast Boy is a master of shapeshifting, and Raven posses great telepathic and telekinetic powers."

"And last but most certainly not least, Artemis Fowl and Butler," Rita nodded to the end of the table where Artemis and Butler sat, away from everyone, "Mr. Fowl is a veritable genius in every subject, and Butler is our weapons expert."

"Which only leaves us. We are the team leaders, and we have our own specialties, to be revealed over time. Any questions?"

"Um, yeah." Beast Boy tentively raised his arm, "What exactly are we doing here?"

The two girls smiled, and pulled down a large white screen, "Slides!"

"You see, it all starts a few years ago..."

****

Las Vegas, Nevada. Two Years Previously.

A cloaked figure hurries down the wet, dark street, and looking around, slips into a side alley.

The figure comes to a wooden door and raps three times upon the door. A bar slides over and two eyes look out.

"Password?"

"Damn it Marcia! Its wet out here, let me in!"

"Oh, of course..."

The door swung open and the figure entered inside. Throwing off the wet coat, the beautiful girl grins, "Is everyone here?"

Inside the small, run-down room, seated in various places around the room, were a group of girls. This group of girls was known as the BHU, and are notorious in the underworld. BHU stands for Bishonen Hunters United. Over the past years, they have been secretly gathering man traps and tranquilizer guns, and lots and lots of wine.

Their main goal in life was to hunt down every bishonen in the world, and take them under their control.

They had grown in numbers, recruiting girls by seducing them with the idea of finding a perfect man for each. Slowly, they had become very large, and they were a threat to bishonen everywhere.

They had at first captured neighborhood boys, then all the bishonen in their city, and then, well you get the idea. Most recently, they had captured Orlando Bloom and Josh Hartnett. These two men had been the last resistance against the BHU, and now they were captured.

Now the BHU were about to embark on their largest scheme yet. They had hired many great inventors and had them create a machine that would bring bishonen from books and television shows to life.

If this happened, there would be no resisting them and they would conquer every man on the planet!

****

LXHB HQ, In the same place it was five minutes ago.

"Now you see why we must stop this evil plot? We cannot allow these villains to get away with their scheme!" Rita shook her head in disgust, "That is why we have brought you here. You are the LXHB, the last hope of the LHR!"

"LXHB?" Jou tilted his head, "LHR? Is that like, the CIA or something?"

"Ah...sort of. The LHR, is the Last Hope Resistance. It is the highly elite organization that is called in to work on subjects, when all other organizations fail," Lynn explained, "Rita and I are top members who take our orders from none other than the top commander. As for the LXHB, I think you'd rather not know what it means."

But, Jou said he'd annoy her until she told him, so she did. "LXHB, stands for the League of Extraordinarily Hot Bishonen."

There was a cry of either outrage or delight, the two captains could not tell which. After the noise had settled down, Draco stood up, "If we pray tell, are as hot as you describe us to be, why have we not been captured by the BHU?"

Rita grinned, "The BHU have not captured you because they simply do not believe you exist. Its as simple as that."

"And why do we not exist?" Artemis asked, interested in the answer.

"Because outside of your own homes and families, you are no more then a bunch of characters from books and TV shows. Which of course, we obviously know is not true."

A hushed silence fell over the room, and Lynn whispered to Rita, "They were not supposed to know that."

Rita blinked twice, "Oh. I forgot," she shrugged sheepishly, "Accidents happen right?"

"And the shock of learning that they aren't supposed to exist is an accident?"

"Yeah, I guess so..."just then, her cellphone rang, and she answered it. Two hundred decibels of screaming force came at her, and she fell to the ground. After the sound died down, a disheveled Rita turned off the phone, then quickly got to her feet. "I guess the top man doesn't think so."

Lynn's beeper went off, and she glanced at it, then turned on the lights, "Let's move, folks! There's an emergency and we are needed NOW!"


	3. Chapter 2

**LXHB Jet Plane  
**_Over Central North America_

"Bad news boys. The LHR's headquarters have been captured," Lynn reported to her 'troops', "And that's just the beginning of it."

"It gets worse?" Beast Boy asked, "Dude, I really don't know how much more of this I can take!"

A few of the others nodded in agreement. In the past few hours, they had been uprooted from their homes, and (for the most part) flown halfway across the world.

Rita entered the meeting room, carrying a pile of files. Each file was labeled subject 1, subject 2, and so on.

She handed a file to each of the bishonen (and the one bishoujo). "Please listen. This is very important, Each file contains a study case of a certain bishonen. Please study them thoroughly."

"When the BH captured the headquarters, they placed some of their brain-washed bishonen in each of the gaurd rooms. They will do everything they can to try and stop you from getting to the core base."

"Your mission then is clear - you must escort Captain Lynn and me to the core base where we be able to free the other bishonen."

Lynn stepped forward, "We have assigned each of you to one of the bishonen gaurds..."

"You want us to take them out?" Jou asked, grinning, "Sounds like fun."

"No no!" Lynn said, shaking her head, "Roughing them up and and rendering them unconcious will be quite enough. With proper care we may be able to cure them."

"Oh..."

"Are there any questions?"

"Pardon me, Captain Rita, but my case study does not appear to be human."

"Oh thank you, Master Fowl. I nearly forgot. Your file is a collective of information on our computer system. The BH somehow crafted a virus that they use to manipulate our systems. We wont be able to even touch the outer defenses with it in place. So, we naturally assumed..."

"That I would be able to install a counter virus and redirect control to your computers," Artemis put in, Rita smiled,

"You are the genius Master Fowl. Are there any other questions?"

Fred, (or was it George?) raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"How are we going to attack this building if it is the base you say it is? We aren't very inconspicous."

"You have a point Mr. Weasly," Lynn replied, "We will be gaining enterance through an underground passageway. The entrance is in the Hard Rock Café Los Angeles. We can only hope that the BH does not know about it."

"As for being inconspicious... We **will** be doing a lot of walking in the city... Rita?"

"I have tons of clothes for you - in all the latest styles." The girl had magically produced a pile of clothes out of nowhere, "Everyone come pick out some clothes!"

"Except for you Atemu," she added as an afterthought, "Your leather will do fine."

The two girls left, talking about the plans excitedly... or so the boys thought.

"You just think he looks hot in leather!"

"Doesn't every girl?"

"True, true..."

"What about the rest? How do you think they will do?"

"Well, I should hope. We cannot fail again. It would be the end of us."

" I hate doing this."

"Indeed."

* * *

Well, there it is! The long awaited Chappie 4. R+R please!


End file.
